The Choice
by Murgy31
Summary: Events of the day lead Tony to discover the true meaning of family. Post Bury Your Dead, and Family. Father/Son. No SLASH... NOT COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

_Tony- I am not coming back. You need to choose. Jeanne_

Those words kept floating through Tony's mind as he tried not to concentrate on the letter that was burning a hole in his pocket. He had been in the office since early that morning. He couldn't stay in _their_ apartment; the reminders were too fresh, too raw.

Gibbs entered the bullpen, but did not make his presence known. He liked to sneak up on his agents and observe them unnoticed. It marveled him how they never noticed he was there until it was too late. The head slap was a valuable tool in his arsenal, but he had a feeling that a head slap was not going to be enough for Dinozzo. This undercover assignment had burned him badly. '_Damn Director Shepherd__,' h_e thought viscously. He wanted her job, better yet, her head on a platter for what she did to Tony. He realized that none of this would help Tony.

Ziva and McGee had arrived while Tony was pretending to work. Sharing a look, they went to their desks.

"Ziva, have you ever pretended to be in love for a case before?" Tim asked curiously.

"Yes, McGee," Ziva replied. "I have had relations with a suspect to solve a case."

Tim was staring at Tony when he pointedly said, "But you've been smart enough not to fall in love?"

"Yes, never fall in love with the enemy," she cautiously replied. She could not believe that McGee was baiting Tony like this.

"Maybe the director should have used me instead of Dinozzo; I would have kept a definite line between work and love. Well at least it all worked out for the best, right Tony." McGee smirked waiting for Tony's snappy comeback.

Tony's eyes narrowed as he looked the junior agent over. "You won't know what you would do until you are in that situation _Tim," _purposefully not using the younger man's nickname and strode to the elevator without another look back.

McGee blanched at the sight of Tony disappearing. He hadn't meant to force him to leave; he wanted things back to normal. He wanted the old Dinozzo back, but it didn't look like that was going to happen. Gibbs was going to kill him.

"McGee!" Gibbs barked as he rounded the corner. "What the hell to you say to Dinozzo that made him run out of here so fast?"

"I…I…I…" McGee stammered. He hated the fact that his boss could get to him so badly. "Ziva and I were just talking, and Tony may have taken the conversation out of context…"

"Out of context, McGee, out of context…" Gibbs snarled going toe to toe with his junior agent. "Are you sure, you want that to be your answer."

"I baited Tony," McGee started. "I was hoping to snap him out of his funk."

"This is not something that you can 'snap him out of' McGee," Gibbs snapped. "If you have caused him any harm, McGee…" He trailed off letting McGee fester with the unfinished thought. "Go see Abby!"

McGee scurried off not wanting to piss the Boss off any more than he already had. Gibbs grabbed his phone and turned to the elevator.

"I'll be back, David," Gibbs called back. "Call if you need anything."

Tony had gotten into the elevator knowing that he couldn't stay at NCIS, not when McGee thought that he was weak. Maybe he was better off leaving and finding Jeanne, he could be happy. He thought about Jeanne all the way back to the apartment.

Gibbs had not found him at his place, and there were no clues there to where his missing agent might be. He picked up the phone and dialed.

"David."

"Ziva, I can't find Dinozzo," Gibbs stated. "Do you have any idea where he might be?

"You have checked his apartment?" She asked.

"Yes!" he barked.

"Have you checked hers?" Ziva asked. "We went back there after he returned from his mission. He found a letter and asked me to leave."

"Where is it," He asked shortly, his mind on this letter Dinozzo received. He took down the address that Ziva gave him and spun the car around. "Thank you, Ziva."

Tony's suitcases were packed and he was in the living room when he heard the knock on the door. Ignoring it, he wasn't expecting anyone and anyone that would happen to show up wasn't someone he wanted to deal with. Tony continued to look around the apartment, the place where he had spent time, and made memories with Jeanne.

He was so engrossed in his memories that he didn't hear the door lock click open. Gibbs stood in the doorway for a moment watching his senior agent, the pain and sadness evident on his face.

Walking into the apartment, Gibbs stood behind his senior agent placing his hand on his shoulder. "Going somewhere, Tony?" He asked trying not to alarm the younger agent; he needed Tony to listen to him, not run from him.

Tony gazed up at his boss, his mentor, unable to keep his mask in place.

"I really loved her, boss. I feel like she took this huge part of me with her when she left."

"I know, Tony," Gibbs replied softly, stepping forward. "I know what it is like to love deeply, and lose it."

Tony nodded, not able to find his voice as tears welled in his eyes. Tears for Jeanne, tears for the life they could have had, tears for the life he should have had. Gibbs took him gently in his arms and rocked him back and forth like he would have Kelly when she was upset.

"You have a family here, one that loves you, Tony." Gibbs whispered softly as he pulled him to the couch. "All of us will be here for you, for whatever you need."

Tony pulled back slightly and they locked eyes and he made his decision, his decision to choose family over love. In that moment he realized that in the end family is the only thing that matters.

A/N: Thanks for reading my first NCIS story. Please read and review….be kind…. Constructive criticisms welcome, but please no flames.


	2. Chapter 2:Staying

A/N: Here is chapter 2 of my story that I started long ago, The Choice. It is beta'd by Annie Booker. Thank you so much! I really appreciate it. I hope you enjoy and if you would like to read and review, I would appreciate it.

A/N 2: The story is set in Jeanne Benoit's apartment.

**Chapter 2: Staying**

Tony slowly floated towards consciousness. With the last vestiges of sleep clinging to him, he slowly opened his eyes. He remembered the events of yesterday. He was going to leave, going to leave NCIS behind, and join Jeanne, finally get the family that he wanted. He lifted his head up and realized he was cocooned in warmth he hadn't felt in a long time, if ever.

His boss had broken every rule he ever taught him, and stayed with him, not just stayed but held and comforted him all night long. He gently eased himself out of Gibbs' embrace, making sure that Gibbs was comfortable on the couch. He went into the kitchen to make coffee that he was sure his boss would want the moment that he woke up. He had to think of some way to thank Gibbs for everything that he had done. Tony was not one to dwell on his emotions, if his father had taught him anything it was to not get caught up in feelings. That is exactly what he had done in the Benoit case; he'd allowed personal feelings to cloud his judgment. _That can never happen again! he thought angrily. How could he have been so stupid as to think that everything would work out for him? It never had. _

He was standing at the counter making coffee when Gibbs found him. Gibbs took a moment to observe the younger agent. Gibbs knew that Tony was not out of the woods yet. They still had a long way to go. Tony would need his family around him to help him get over losing Jeanne. All of his family, which meant McGee, as well.

Tony knew the exact moment that Gibbs entered the kitchen. He always had a "sixth sense" when it came to his boss. He took a mug from the cabinet and poured Gibbs a fresh cup of his morning constitutional. He shook his head slightly and returned Gibbs' slight grin as he passed the cup to him wordlessly.

"How ya doing, Tony?" Gibbs asked.

"I'm fine, Boss," Tony replied, trying to reassure Gibbs that he was handling things, but Jethro knew better. He simply raised an eyebrow and challenged Tony to try again. He knew him better than he knew himself, or so he thought. The explosion changed everything, Mexico changed everything, up until that point, when Gibbs had his finger on the pulse of NCIS. He lost more than his memory in the explosion, something he could never get back. He lost his team. Tony had been on assignment for a year without his knowledge. He had led the team in Gibbs' absence; he managed to keep them from falling apart completely. Tony's leadership did not come without a price; there was discord among his team members. McGee and Ziva were both floundering. They had been devastated when they thought that they had lost Tony, but neither agent had the nerve to express that to their ex-team leader. Ziva understood what Tony was going through, given her background, but McGee was a different story.

"It's not your fault," Tony stated, as if he could sense Gibbs' thoughts.

"What?" Gibbs replied, startled

"Jeanne is not your fault, it's mine."

"Not your fault either, DiNozzo."

"Maybe, maybe not." Tony shrugged. "McGee seems to think that he could have handled it better."

"McGee doesn't understand," Gibbs interjected.

"I know, but I don't know if I have it in me to explain it to him." Tony's shoulders sagged as he studied the pattern of the tiled floor.

"You do, Tony, but only you can decide if the pain is worth the gain."

They stared at each other for a long time, neither one breaking eye contact, until finally Tony smiled at Gibbs.

"I broke us, it's up to me to fix us." Tony handed Gibbs another cup of coffee and with a sloppy salute headed towards the door.

Gibbs quickly set down his cup of coffee, and pulled the younger agent into a tight embrace before he had a chance to leave.

"I'm sorry," he whispered into his ear. "I am making an exception and breaking my own rule. It's for a good reason." Tony's protest died on his lips and he fell silent.

"I let you down," Gibbs continued. "I bullied my way back into NCIS and onto the team. I treated your tenure as boss as if it meant nothing, and in doing so I taught McGee and Ziva that it was all right to disrespect you." Gibbs paused and pulled back slightly, making sure that Tony could see his eyes.

"Atta boy, DiNozzo," He tapped the back of his head lightly. "You did well, and you filled my shoes well. You will make a damn fine team leader one day."

Both men's eyes were damp by the end of his speech. Tony pulled back and straightened up, looking as if the weight of the world was off his shoulders.

"Thanks, Boss," he said as he turned the knob of the door to the apartment. He paused before leaving; he knew that he would never be back here. He closed his eyes momentarily to burn a picture of his life with Jeanne into his mind's eye. It was a life he'd loved, but a fantasy none the less. He opened his eyes and looked at Gibbs. Jethro stood in the hallway, patiently waiting for him to make a decision. In the end he knew what he had to do. He had made his choice, he was staying. McGee would understand everything, because that was just the way it had to be. He would fix them. He had to, his family needed him, and more than Jeanne ever did. He smiled at his boss and left the apartment.


End file.
